A Suspiciously Narrow River

Mason Labash
Mark Twain
February 22, 2011

"Did they notice that they could make money by climbing down out of that arched sapling and just stepping aboard when the ark scraped by? No; other Indians would have noticed these things, but Cooper's Indians never notice anything."

"A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way." - Mark Twain

Mark Twain is making a point that Cooper's situations are extremely unrealistic.  Indians are known for their keen observation skills. When they are in nature they are in their element. They can jump on the back of a wild, galloping horse, why wouldn't they be able to execute dropping onto a hundred and sixty foot vessel traveling at the swift speed of one mile per hour in a river that can barely contain it? In reality the vessel would not even be able to scrape by with merely a foot to spare on either side because the difference between shore and water is gradual, not a sudden drop off as Cooper would apparently like the reader to believe. The Indians would never bother hanging six men deep on a fragile limb across a river and risk drowning when they could  make a baby step and be aboard hassle free. Twain uses the term "Cooper's Indians" to make it even more obvious that these Indians are NOT real Indians. So far from reality that it is shocking as well as hilarious.

I interpreted Twain's use of the words "could make money" as a slang term from the 19th century. I figured he must mean that they would be undoubtedly successful. I came to this conclusion because first of all Indians would have no interest in making money for it would be of absolutely no use to them. Being successful is also automatically associated with making or having lots of money. Thirdly, Twain states that the Indian's goal is to murder some people aboard. I assume that is their complete ambition without any motivation for monetary gain.

One of my favorite parts of the quote is how Twain adds his extra touch of humor by calling the tree from which the branch is growing a "sapling." As dumb as Cooper is it would be just a little too absurd to suggest that six full grown men could be supported by a sapling limb. Not only that but it would never be long enough to extend fifteen feet across a river. I am almost curious to see if Cooper did indeed refer to the tree as a sapling because I would turn red in the face from laughing so hard.

I can say with confidence that even though I have yet to read this passage out of Cooper's original text from Deerslayer, I completely agree with Twain's interpretation of it. This situation just could not happen. Indians are just as mentally capable as you and I, if not not more. In this situation dealing with nature where they are at home, it is all the more ridiculous. If Indians were as dumb as Cooper makes them they would have surely died off before Columbus stumbled upon America. The fact that Cooper's mistakes are this obvious makes me lose pretty much all my respect for the man.

"Mark Twain Quotes - BrainyQuote." Famous Quotes at BrainyQuote. Web. 22 Feb. 2011. <http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mark_twain.html>.